Én kommentar

  1. Attracted by Intelligence

    Attracted by Intelligence

    What qualities do you value most in a partner?

    If your answer is «intelligence», you might consider yourself to be a bit “sapio sexual”. That is a term used about persons who are attracted by intelligence. They want a relationship that goes beyond the physical level, so to speak. They want to share – or become entangled in – each other’s thoughts. How intimate is that!

    Intelligence? – What intelligence?

    I know, it’s inappropriate to use the word «intelligence», just like that. Unfortunately, it has become one of these words you’re not supposed to say at all. I believe the “I”-word has been misused too many times, maybe as an excuse to suppress unfortunate people.

    If you say «intelligence», someone will correct you, like: «What kind of intelligence?» You are supposed to use “intelligence” in connection with abilities like logical-mathematical intelligence, social intelligence, linguistic intelligence, musical intelligence, self-awareness-intuitive intelligence, bodily kinetic intelligence and visual-spatial intelligence.


    I can image physicist Sheldon Cooper from the TV series «The Big Bang» attempt to assemble an IKEA cupboard. I have no faith in his visual-spatial intelligence.

    No one – not even Albert Einstein – would receive full score on all of these capabilities. In total, he would probably achieve a medium score, just like the rest of us. In our politically correct part of the world, there is no word to describe general intelligence. Does that mean that we are all equally intelligent? Of course not!

    What is it then that turns on the sapio sexuals?

    It is certainly not the ability to assemble IKEA furniture – or socialize with other people, sing, or solve math puzzles. In my opinion, intelligence is the ability to imagine something with no physical images. It is the ability – and desire – to catch and follow an idea from another person, maybe several ideas at once, – and to be able to draw conclusions, find parallels between ideas – and last but not least, be able to express thoughts in conversations, – often with a bit of humor, intelligent humor. That’s what I associate with intelligence.

    I don’t think it is possible to measure someone’s intelligence just by talking, but within few minutes I can tell whether a person is “over my intelligence”, “as intelligent as myself”, “a little less intelligent than myself”, “less intelligent than most people I know”, and so on.

    I call it “relative intelligence”.

    There is no correlation between a person’s relative intelligence and sympathy. With a drink in my hand on a social event, I prefer to hang around with the sympathetic people for the whole evening, whatever intelligence they might have. But I’d never be able to live with a woman who was less intelligent than me. To me, an intelligent woman is very attractive.

    Intelligence is sexy.

    People, who are attracted to intelligence, have probably an IQ that is above average. If they seek a partner on the same level, it is far from easy to find a partner in a small town. When the party is over, and everyone goes home two and two together – dumb and drunk, the intelligent person walks home alone with the head full of thoughts. A beautiful exterior, wealth and status cannot knock out intelligence.

    Bad odds to find partner.

    All young men who went into the army between 1950 and 2002 got their “general ability level” tested (obviously another word for intelligence). I ended up in the group with the best ability level – something I shared with 4% of all the militaries in 1976. Given that women are equally gifted, only 1 in 25 young women would be a possible match for me, as long as I retained my requirement for intelligence. Do I have to explain why it took me a long time to find me a life partner?

    I recently read a popular scientific article that explains why intelligence is sexy. The article tries to demonstrate that higher IQ means higher sex drive, and that men with high IQ have better semen quality – as part of the theory of evolution, that intelligent genes should be pursued. One could of course believe that attraction of intelligence is nature’s way of ensuring that intelligent people are preferred as life partners. But honestly, I don’t believe that intelligence has ever played any role in evolution. Statistically, there has been a decrease in genetic intelligence, measured by the army’s “general ability test”. But I think at the same time we will see an improvement of acquired skills, stimulated by the computer technology. A kind of new-found intelligence. Perhaps the future of intelligence requires a different scale than IQ?

    Being intelligent (yes, I know it’s wrong to use the “I”-word) does not mean that you score high in math tasks, but you have the ability to learn easily. It does not mean that you have musical talents. It does not mean you make more money than others, rather the contrary. Intelligent people can actually be reluctant to take risks, which is often a necessary in order to do well in business. Intelligent people did not stand out either as particularly sympathetic or unsympathetic. But if you are intelligent, you know it, – although there is no single term that covers it, and it is politically incorrect to accentuate it. Are you looking for a life partner and not yet found the right one, then think: What are you really seeking?

    Perhaps it’s intelligence?

    🙂 Good luck on your hunt!

    << Back


Legg igjen en kommentar

Fyll inn i feltene under, eller klikk på et ikon for å logge inn:


Du kommenterer med bruk av din WordPress.com konto. Logg ut /  Endre )


Du kommenterer med bruk av din Facebook konto. Logg ut /  Endre )

Kobler til %s

Dette nettstedet bruker Akismet for å redusere spam. Lær hvordan dine kommentardata behandles..